YOU DON'T KNOW ONE LAH!

National Service (NS) is a peculiar time. You've probably had to do things that seem inexplicable, but actually have good reasons behind them. What are some of the unusual things you've done while you were in NS or Basic Military Training (BMT)?

1. Say my Rank/Name/NRIC Number

Back in the days of Internet Relay Chat, we had a/s/l -- age, sex, location -- that we would state when entering a chatroom. If NS were a social media platform, it would have r/n/i -- NS rank, name and IC number.

That's the one thing you learn to memorise and repeat quickly because you're going to be announcing it often -- whenever you draw ammo for range, complete a live-firing training session, enter certain offices or collect medicine from the medical centre.

2. No right turn

Ever noticed that all military vehicles coming out of camps only turn left, even when they are headed to the right? No, it's not just because the vehicle commander said so. It's done to avoid having to cut across lanes and obstructing oncoming traffic. Does not apply to military vehicles in the air or sea though...

3. On the dot

When Encik says the rendezvous time is 0900hrs, be there at 0900hrs. Do not turn up at "9-ish". Do not turn up at "around 9 o' clock like that". Unless you want Encik to turn up as The Hulk.

More than just trying to make your life difficult, your Encik does this to make sure that training can start on schedule and also because a few minutes can mean the difference between arriving on time to reinforce friendly forces or to attend to casualties when it comes to war.

4. Soap up

Stuck outfield and in need of a good bath? No problem! With the SAF pre-soaped disposable sponges, you can! Just add a few drops of water to lather it up and then give yourself a good scrub. Hey, with the sound of insects chirping around you, just close your eyes and it's practically an outdoor spa!

5. Cepat jaa-lan!

Marching. Every. Dang. Where. You. Go. It's not that the military favours synchrony (well, maybe it does) but this practice is to instil discipline and is also a nod to days of yore when soldiers would march onto the battlefield in formation in order to fight as a single entity.

6. Everyone is deaf

The Standard Obstacle Course isn't the only place to display your impressive lung capacity. When your Sergeant asks you a question, show off your lung power by shouting your answer. Even if he is standing right in front of you. The louder you shout, the more satisfied he will be.

Take it as a lesson in assertiveness; how else are you going to be able to communicate with your buddies above the din of gunfire in battle if all that you can muster up is a mousey squeak?

7. Read the label

Ever hear your friends say they're so close to their NS buddies that they can "share one pair of underwear"? Pretty sure they don't actually want to do that. That's why everything you own in BMT has to be labelled with your company, platoon, section and bed number. Especially items like helmets and integrated Load-Bearing Vests (iLBVs) that hundreds of soldiers have one of. And, of course, uniforms and underwear.

8. Can you see the light?

You're doing guard duty in the jungle in the dead of night. Suddenly, you see tiny orbs of light among the trees. You're about to screa oh, it's just your platoon mates directing a jeep with their taped-up torches. Thank goodness; saved you a pair of pants there!

This is part of tactical lighting. To avoid being spotted outdoors at night, soldiers have to cover their torchlights with black tape, leaving only a pinhole of light with which to read maps or guide their paths. This is the same reason military vehicles turn their lights on in the day and use tiny beams of light at night.

9. Black tape all the things

Speaking of black tape, the ubiquitous 60-cent electrical tape will become your answer to many of life's questions (no shouting required). Loose straps hanging off your fieldpack and iLBV? Black-tape them. Boot sole fell out mid-route march? Black-tape it. Metal dog tags clinking too much in outfield? Black-tape them. Bunkmate's snoring getting to you? Blac- Okay, maybe not.

10. Telt? Talc? Telc??

We can't agree on whether it's "telt" or "talc" or "telc". But we can agree that we've used those clear plastic sheets on everything from maps to noticeboards.

Plotting different routes for your exercise but have only one map? Just place the sheets on top, trace out different routes on different layers, and voila! This way, the map can be reused countless times. Pretty smart, huh?