I’ve always got your back

Missing their first wedding anniversary because wife was away on an overseas military exercise? This is just one of the few “normals” in their relationship.

Meet Captain (CPT) Koh Xinci and 3rd Sergeant (3SG) (NS) Nitro Chan – she’s an army Regular, and he’s an NSman (Operationally Ready National Serviceman) supporting her dreams.

The 30-year-old, who signed on in 2015 right after her A Levels, is currently completing her tour of duty as a company commander in 11th Command, Control, Communications, Computers, and Intelligence Battalion (11 C4I Bn).

She will soon be assuming the appointment of Staff Officer at Headquarters Army Intelligence.

Her husband 3SG (NS) Chan, 31, is a game publisher who publishes indie games for consoles and computers.

When they tied the knot in 2024, their military wedding featured an eye-catching element – their sword bearers were all ladies!

We speak to the couple to find out more about their love story – from their first meeting to the dynamics of being in a relationship in which one partner serves in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF).

How did you meet and start dating?

CPT Koh: We met on a dating app – Coffee Meets Bagel!

3SG (NS) Chan: When we met each other for the first time, half of our faces were covered. We had to wear a mask as it was during the (COVID-19) pandemic. I remember we bought Subway and sat outside National Museum to eat together.

What were your first impressions of each other?

CPT Koh: I’m slow to warm up to people, so it helped that he carried most of the conversation! He knew I was an Army Regular and he started sharing his NS (National Service) experience right from the first date. He was also very witty and funny.

3SG (NS) Chan: She was quite reserved at first. But when she finally started opening up to me, it was like seeing her in a whole different light. She had strong opinions regarding what she wants in life, which I thought was very cool!

What was the proposal like?

CPT Koh: We were travelling in Japan in 2024 and visited Lake Toya in Hokkaido. There, I told Nitro, “If you propose to me here, I would say yes to-ya.” (laughs).

3SG (NS) Chan: Throughout the whole journey, I was thinking really hard about when I should propose. The moment she said this pun, I did it.

There was a unique aspect to your wedding – all the sword bearers are ladies! Whose idea was this?

CPT Koh: They are all my close friends from different Services! One of them was even from my Basic Military Training (BMT) batch – she was also my maid of honour that night.

From the start, I had already decided that I wanted all my sword bearers to be ladies. I’m very thankful to my friends because they were all very excited and supportive in making my idea happen.

Even my makeup artist was excited to see our full female team! We ended up taking a lot of photos together that night.

3SG (NS) Chan, what is it like having a partner who’s serving in the military?

3SG (NS) Chan: One of the toughest parts of our relationship is her demanding work schedule.

Last year, we didn’t even celebrate our first wedding anniversary together because she was at Exercise Wallaby in Australia!

She wakes up before me every morning to go to work whereas I stay up till late every night because I deal with international clients. It’s almost like we’re living in different time zones.

While it is hard sometimes, I do my best to support her from the sidelines, such as cooking food for her often.

CPT Koh: At Exercise Wallaby last year, he specially prepared a gigantic wedding anniversary card for me! I was so excited to see what was inside, but I had to wait until the actual day to open it.

This motivated me to get through each day strong, as he would prepare numerous cards, and every day was a day closer to opening a new card from him.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, what’s one thing you’d like to say to each other?

3SG (NS) Chan: Thank you for standing by me. Thank you for all that you’ve done, big and small, even the minor moments we get annoyed at each other – it is all these little things that make life with you more fulfilling.

To other couples like us, my advice is to be more understanding towards their (the partner serving) schedule. It’s important (for both) to voice out your struggles and to always be on the same page.

CPT Koh: Thank you for supporting me and tolerating all the disruptions to our plans and dates. (laughs)

I think it’s not easy to be a military spouse – I feel apologetic when I can’t celebrate important events such as your birthday or our anniversary! – and I’m so grateful to have you.