From course-mates to lifelong friends

Late-night study sessions, chasing deadlines together and exchanging notes.

The familiar classroom experience that’s also the secret ingredient to Lieutenant Colonel (LTC) Shahreel Rajaratnam and Major (MAJ) Mahmud Afifi Mohd Kifli’s cross-border friendship.

Singapore Army’s LTC Shahreel and Royal Brunei Land Force’s (RBLF’s) MAJ Afifi, both 37, met while attending the Singapore Armed Forces’ (SAF’s) Goh Keng Swee Command and Staff College (GKS CSC) in 2023.

Mutual respect, a willingness to learn from each other, and a shared love for football and good food turned them from course-mates to friends.

The course may have ended, but their friendship continues – a reminder that the connections forged can last well beyond the classroom.

On 10 Oct, Singapore and Brunei commemorated their 50th anniversary of defence relations with a Joint Parade at Muara Naval Base, Brunei Darussalam.

LTC Shahreel and MAJ Afifi’s strong bond is an example of how the close relationship between the two armed forces goes beyond military exercises and professional exchanges.

What were your first impressions of each other when you met at GKS CSC?

LTC Shahreel: I remember Afifi as outgoing, warm, and genuinely excited to begin his adventure in Singapore. He brought a positive energy to the course.

Afifi came to Staff College intending to excel, not just to participate, and his confidence in stepping out of his comfort zone is something I’ve taken away for myself.

MAJ Afifi: Shahreel was professional and friendly and made me feel welcomed from the first day. With officers from 18 countries on the course, he was a friendly face to all of them, and I tried to do the same.

The biggest lesson I’ve learnt from him is that building relationships and helping others is just as important as performance in the course. And that both can be done at the same time while having fun!

How did you support each other through the course?

MAJ Afifi: We had many back-to-back assignments, exercises and deadlines. When things got busy, we relied on each other for support.

Shahreel helped me with SAF-specific processes that were less familiar to me.

LTC Shahreel: Afifi brought a fresh perspective that challenged the way I looked at things. Knowing that someone had your back when the workload peaked made a real difference.

Both: We got through challenges by sharing notes, lessons and tips, bouncing ideas off each other late into the night and making sure neither of us had overlooked anything.

That’s how we eventually became close friends.

How did you become such good friends?

LTC Shahreel: There was no single defining moment (when we became friends); our friendship grew naturally through constant, regular interactions – whether it was banter about the weekly football results or our shared love of food!

We keep in touch through our group chats, which also keep us connected with our other course-mates. Whenever one of us is in the other’s country, we make the effort to meet, usually over a good meal.

Football and food were our common interests from the very start – and they still are!

MAJ Afifi: We realised that we had a similar attitude: we both wanted to make the most of the year (in GKS CSC). That meant doing our best on the course, but also getting to know the people around us and learning about their cultures. The friendship grew quite naturally from that.

Over time, we realised how much more we had in common – we both studied in Perth at the University of Western Australia in the same time frame, just in different faculties!

What have you learnt from each other?

LTC Shahreel: I’m inspired by how well-read and well-travelled Afifi is, and his willingness to share and learn. These qualities bring fresh perspectives to our discussions.

Our friendship also proved valuable during preparations for Exercise Maju Bersama, when Afifi’s insights into Brunei and its people and local practices helped the exercise run more smoothly.

MAJ Afifi: I value Shahreel’s humility and sincerity. His humility keeps him open to different perspectives and learning, regardless of rank or experience, while his sincerity builds the trust needed for honest conversations and strong relationships.

These qualities matter in leadership because people respond best to someone who listens, treats others with respect and leads authentically.

Through your friendship, what interesting insights have you gained about how each other’s armed forces operate?

LTC Shahreel: The biggest difference is our operating environment – the SAF is more familiar with operating in urban terrain, while the RBLF are experts in jungle warfare.

It has been interesting to learn from each other and see how our different environments and experiences complement one another.

Singapore and Brunei celebrate 50 years of defence relations this year. What does this milestone mean to you?

Both: It’s easy to see “50 years of defence relations” as just a number, but friendships like ours are what give it meaning – people who have trained together, learnt from one another and stayed in touch long after any course or exercise.

LTC Shahreel: I’ve been to Brunei about eight times since my first visit as an Officer Cadet training in Temburong in 2008. Brunei holds a special place in my heart because training there shaped my development as an officer and a leader.

I hope future generations of Singaporean and Bruneian soldiers will continue to build friendships like ours, and keep learning from each other for decades to come.

MAJ Afifi: Ultimately, the relationship between our armed forces is about people, and we hope (the courses, exchanges and training) will continue to bring them closer together so that more servicemen can build lasting friendships like ours.